Expectations
Expectations… such powerful things. Be it expectating things from yourself, from others or others expecting it from you. It feels like expectations dictate so much of our lives.
In any aspect of life whatsoever, the natural reaction to things not going according to your expectation is to get frustrated and sad and/or angry. It does seem like common sense but this reaction .. really controls so much of our lives.
Interacting with people? You expect them to be a certain way based on Ur biases , preferences and prior interactions. They turn out not to be exactly that way? Or they act in a way that betrays your expectation of them? Suddenly the same actions that you would love them do would instead make you paranoid and doubtful. I've noticed this in my and other people's talks. Almost every fight/dispute in any relation arises due to a difference in expectations and what happens. Be it due to not making your own expectation and intention clear.. or be it you imposing your own bias into the situation, via some way you feel betrayed. Your judgements are proven wrong. And I guess the brain absolutely does not like being wrong eh?
It's not only in interactions.. but with everything. Planning something and literally one insignificant thing does not go to plan or something happens? Ok the plan is done and scraped. Ok maybe this is only a perfectionist thing.. but I've seen it happen and have it happen to me.. It could be something as simple as seeing an assignment get announced that's due in a week.. that is enough for my plans for today to get disturbed.. even if I have no reason to even consider it right now.
It seems like the more you know the more your expectations crumble down and the more frustrated you get.. but maybe it's a necessity to actually get into something bias free? Watching a video about romantic crushes and why they can be so dangerous had the point loud and clear. When you love someone, you see only the good in them and hyper inflate them and you supress the negative qualities. Your expectation of them gets so detached from reality , it could be a different person altogether. Then when you actually get to know them and they aren't what your ideal made up.. you crash out. This is not who they are. They are lying to me.. people get defensive. Some even get offensive and hurt them.. just due to that mismatch..
Expectations are powerful things with high control of our lives. Lowering them might be a way out.. but that generally doesn't work cause already formed expectations won't break with just thoughts mostly. But that might be the only way. To lower your expectations of people.. and by lower not to lower your standards of what they should be , but of how they should act. People won't act according to your will and that's a fact. Recognising it and seeing when it creeps in is essential to get rid of this gap.
Anyway, it's not like I have the solution. I suffer from it alot and keep noticing it but keep falling for it again and again. Fun stuff to be honest. Let's hold each other up to an standard while not trying to dictate/expect them to act according to it all the time ig?